発達支援について学びたい人はユーキャン

【現役保育士解説】順番を待てない3歳児｜理由は？対応法は？

※本記事にはプロモーションが含まれています

3歳の子どもたちが「順番待ち」に苦戦するのは珍しくありません。「早く！」「いま！」「自分が！」という気持ちが強く出るこの時期、どうして待つことが難しいのか、そしてどう関わればよいのかを、現場の保育士さんや保護者の方々に向けてお伝えします。

どうして3歳児は待てないの？

3歳児の発達段階からわかること

3歳児が順番を待てないのには、ちゃんとした理由があります。

  • 「今」を生きている
  • 自分が中心
  • 欲求が強い
  • 時間感覚が未熟
  • ルールの理解が発達中

　

一番最初に書きましたが、3歳児にとっては「今」の気持ちが一番大事なんです。「あとで」という概念は発達上まだ曖昧な時期なため、基本的に「今やりたい」という気持ちが第一優先です。

おとなとしては、「他のお友達が代わってと言っているのに・・・」と思ってしまうかもしれませんが、他の子の気持ちや立場を想像するのはまだ難しいのも年齢的に仕方のないこと。

　

また「順番を守る」というルール自体、まだ完全に理解できているわけではありません。

保育士や保護者が「ルールを教えたのに守れない」と感じることもあると思いますが、3歳児はまだ学習の途中。繰り返し伝え、経験を積むことで少しずつ理解が深まっていきます。

　

脳の発達との関係

　

もちろん脳の発達的目線でも順番が待てないことに対してはしっかりと根拠があります。

3歳児の脳はまだまだ発達途上。特に以下の能力が育っている最中ということを知っておいてください。

  • 我慢する力
  • 記憶する力
  • 切り替える力

これらは「実行機能」と呼ばれる力で、 順番を守るために欠かせないもの ですが、3歳児にとってはまだ難しいのが普通です。

　

例えば、「やりたい！」という気持ちを抑えるのは大人でも難しいことがありますよね。3歳児は前頭葉の発達が未熟なため、 衝動をコントロールする力（我慢する力） がまだ育ちきっていません。

　

また、順番を待つためには「次は誰の番か」を覚えておく 記憶する力 も必要ですが、3歳児は待っている間に忘れてしまうことがよくあります。

さらに、「今は待つ時間だけど、その間は違う遊びをしよう」と気持ちを切り替える 切り替える力 も未熟なため、待つこと自体がとても難しく感じるのです。

　

　

こうした脳の発達段階を考えると、3歳児が順番を守れないのは決してわがままではなく、 「まだできるようになる途中」だからこそ起こる自然なこと なんです。

　

待てるようにすることは必要？

　

「待てない」という状態を無理に変えようとする前に、少し立ち止まって考えてみましょう。

待つ力の必要性を考える

なぜ待つ力が必要なのかを考えたことはありますか？現役保育士の個人的な見解として次のような理由があると思っています。

  • 集団生活のため
  • 社会性の基礎
  • 安全のため

　

「待つ」という力はやはり保育園や幼稚園など、集団で過ごす上で少しずつ必要になるスキルです。 他者との関係を築く上での基本となるもので、譲り合ったりしながら、友達との良好な関係の基盤にもなります。

もう一つは、危険な場面（道路を渡る前など）で待てることは安全につながるということ。順番に限らず、待つという行動は今後社会で生きていく上の安全面でもとても重要な概念です。

　

そのため「待つ」という概念自体はやはりどの子にも育って欲しい力だと言えます。

　

一方で、以下のことも考慮してほしいと思います。

  • 3歳児の発達段階に合わせる
  • 待たせる必要がない場面を見直す
  • 子どもの「今」を大切にする

　

無理に「待て」と押し付けるのではなく、発達に合わせた環境づくりや考え方を大切にできるといいですね。 大人の都合で必要以上に待たせていないか、それは本当に待つ必要のある場面なのかをもう一度よく考えてみてほしいと思います。

子どもにとって「今」はとっても貴重な時間です。待たせることが最善なのか、そういった視点も持っていられる大人でありたいですね。

　

待てるようになるための関わり方

とはいえ、やはり「待てる力」は少しずつ身に付いていって欲しいもの。そこで、どんな方法を取り入れるといいのかということもお伝えしていきますね。

スモールステップで進める

これはどんなことにも言えますが、一足飛びに「待てる子」にしようとせず、少しずつステップを踏みましょう。

  1. 超短時間から始める: まずは10秒、30秒など、本当に短い時間から
  2. 目に見える形で: 「いち、に、さん…」と数えるなど、終わりが見える形で
  3. 成功体験を増やす: 「待てた！」という小さな成功体験を積み重ねる
  4. 少しずつ時間を延ばす: 慣れてきたら少しずつ待ち時間を延ばしていく

　

いきなり「長時間待つ」という力は育ちません。

　

訓練というわけではありませんが、スモールステップの経験をたくさんさせてあげてください。１つ出来たらたくさん褒め、一進一退を繰り返しながら、成功体験を積み重ねていくことが一番の近道です。

　

おすすめ対応アイデア

目で見てわかる工夫

言葉だけでなく、目で見てわかる手がかりを使ってみましょう。

  • 順番カード: 「〇〇ちゃんの次は△△くん」と写真や名前で見せる
  • 砂時計: 「砂が全部落ちたら交代だよ」と目で見える時間の目安に
  • 待つ場所マーク: 床に足形シールを貼って「ここで待つんだよ」と場所を明確に
  • 順番ボード: 「いま」「つぎ」「そのつぎ」と順番がわかる表示を作る

　

発達支援などでよく利用するのは、次の子が待つ場所を決めておくこと。

　

上の図のように待つべき場所に足形の印をつけておくことで、視覚的に「待つ」という事が理解できるようになります。

　

もず先生
もず先生

お部屋の中、手洗い場、トイレなど、順番を待つ必要のあるあらゆるところで、試すことができますよ。

　

やさしい声かけ

  • 具体的に伝える: 「ちゃんと待って！」ではなく「〇〇くんが終わったら、次は△△ちゃんの番だよ」
  • 時間の見通し: 「あと少し」ではなく「10数えたら交代しようね」
  • 気持ちを認める: 「待ちたくないよね。でも今は〇〇くんの番だから、次に使おうね」
  • 待てたことを具体的に認める: 「順番を守って遊べたね！みんなが楽しく遊べたよ」

　

待っている間の過ごし方

何もせずじっと待つのは大人でも難しいもの。待っている間にできることを用意しましょう。

  • 別の遊びを用意: 「滑り台の順番を待っている間、この絵本を読んで待っていようか？」
  • 役割を与える: 「待っている間、お友達の応援をしてくれる？」
  • 歌や手遊び: 「待っている間、てをたたきましょうを歌おうか」
  • おしゃべり: 「待っている間、〇〇の話を聞かせて」

　

何もしないで待つのではなく、一緒に待つ事も３歳児には必要な関わりです。「待ってて！って言ったよね？」なんて言語道断！

「代わってもらえるまで一緒に待っていようか」
「10数えたら変わってもらおうか」

　

大人と一緒に待つという体験ど積み重ねていきたいですね。

知っている！という方もいるかもしれませんが「おまけのおまけの汽車ポッポ～♪ポーっとなったら変わりましょ、ポッポ～！か～わって！」と一緒に歌を歌って待つ事もおススメです。

この歌と同じ内容の絵本の読み聞かせもおすすめです！

　

　

大人の関わり方のポイント

  • 一貫性: 「今日はダメ、明日はOK」とならないように
  • 見本を見せる: 大人も「私も順番を待っているんだよ」と姿を見せる
  • 無理強いしない: 待てなくても責めず、次の機会に再チャレンジ
  • 待つ必要のない環境も: 人気のおもちゃは複数用意するなど工夫する

　

以上のような関わりを日々の生活に取り入れて、スモールステップで成功体験を積み重ねていってください。

　

発達の凸凹も視野に入れて

試してみても、全く効果がない！手に負えない・・・となってしまう場合もあるかもしれませんね。

多くの3歳児にとって、順番を待つことが難しいのは自然なことですが、以下のような場合は専門家に相談することも検討してみましょう。

相談を考えたいケース

  • 4〜5歳になっても極端に待つことが難しい
  • 毎回同じ説明をしてもルールが全く理解できない様子がある
  • 待つ場面で極度のパニックや癇癪を起こす
  • 他にも気になる行動や特性（言葉の遅れ、極端なこだわり、多動など）が見られる

　

先ほどもお伝えしましたが、３歳児の発達はまだ未熟。一向に待てるようにならない・・・ということもあるかもしれません。ただ、その姿が極端な場合は少し発達の凸凹があるのかもという視点も持ってみてもいいかもしれません。

　

例えば、待つという出来事に対し過度な癇癪やパニックを頻繁に起こしてしまう場合には、そもそも待つ事が難しいという発達の特性がある可能性もあります。

一概に発達障害かも・・と決めつけてしまうのではなく、長期的な目で見て一向に成長が見られないようであり、更にそれ以外の場面でも気になる行動が目立つようになってきている場合には専門家などに相談の必要も視野に入れていきましょう。

　

相談するときのポイント

  • 批判的にならない: 「できない子」ではなく「特性」の問題として考える
  • 早めの相談: 早い段階での適切な支援が効果的
  • 相談先: 保健センター、児童発達支援センター、かかりつけ医など
  • 日常の観察メモ: 具体的にどんな場面で困っているかをメモしておく

　

どんな特性の子どもも大切に

発達障害の可能性がある子どもも、そうでない子どもも、それぞれの発達のペースや特性があります。

  • 強みを伸ばす: 待てなくても、その子の得意なことや好きなことを大切に
  • 環境の調整: 子どもに合わせて環境や関わり方を調整する
  • 個性として受け入れる: 「みんなと同じ」を求めず、その子らしさを尊重する

　

まずはこういった視点をベースとして、日々に関わりに取り入れていって欲しいと思います。

待てない３歳児を気長に待つ

最後に、この記事で紹介してきたことを、まとめていきましょう。

  • 3歳児が順番を待てないのは発達段階として自然なこと
  • 脳の発達とともに、少しずつ「待つ力」は育っていく
  • 無理に待たせるのではなく、子どものペースに合わせたスモールステップで
  • 視覚的な工夫や待ち時間の過ごし方の工夫が効果的
  • 発達障害の可能性も視野に入れつつ、どの子も大切にする関わりを

　

子どもの「待てない！」は困った行動ではなく、成長の証。焦らず、子どものペースに合わせて、温かく見守りながら少しずつ関わっていきましょう。

　

もず先生
もず先生

待てない３歳児の成長を、気長に待っていきたいですね。

子ども発達についての知識をアップデートしていますか？

3歳児の順番を待てない行動には、脳の発達の特性が関係しています。子どもの発達を理解することで、適切な関わり方が見えてきます。

より深く学び、日々の保育や子育てに役立てたい方には、通信講座を利用したスキルアップがおすすめです。

私もスキルアップのために定期的に資格取得を通して学び続けています。民間の資格はあまり意味がいないと思われるかもしれませんが、私の場合こうでもしないとなかな勉強できないので、とても助かっています。

　

サポート体制がある状態での学びは、定期的に取り入れていきたいですね。

保育現場で差がつく発達支援の学び方｜資格でスキルをアップデート

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